Day 98

Sunday with an early start and an early end. Morning send off to CN Tower escapades for boy. I was coherent and intentional in supportive byes, check. Then some snooze until last possible minute for pre Brad dog walk. Then nice helpful Brad call about my own standards, not anyone else's. Then afternoon nothingness with snacks and survivor, some snoozing. Helpful conversation post nap to make a decision regarding India. Puts mind at ease, though now the whole clear communication and sticking with it / finessing the details etc party will start. Also a nice conversation / semi decision about restarting the health regime for the last / next couple months. Preserve CN tower momentum/ give me a chance in hell etc. So here's to hopeful 6 am runs starting tomorrow. Ofcourse my stomach will have to be pumped for popcorn prior. Then DWP2. Blah company, but yayyyy movie. So cute, so fun. Maybe my standards are lower than the blr girls', but very much enjoyed it, would do a repeat watch with subtitles on tv some day lol. But the company, sigh sigh. So many feelings well up at every interaction. Salon options, "we were at AAs planning the whole summer and beyond", babysitting "company" while she finds a life etc. I want to be supportive, I want to be compassionate, I want to be a good friend, but ugh. Anyway. Will dig deeper. Or medit(c)ate harder. Also 2nd sign in 2 days that I need to add the dimension of new community / connections as I think about cultivating new life. Gonna file that in that overflowing box marked Future Self. The future is (almost) here.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 171

Early start. Walk, lake, kayak, sunshine after ages. The kindness of weather gods and people who cater to those that need it with pancakes, burgers, potatoes, popsicles and spicy margs. No one over heated, no one got bitten to bits, although two of us got overstimulated, one with fomo, the other with exhaustion. I will remember it for so many cuddles and so many moments of precious love and belonging. When we dropped the leashes and went inside the cottage and closed the door and still he stood his ground and watched and whined, certain in his assessment that he knew he held the cards. When he got off beds and set aside cooling mats and comfort to sit by our side and be within scratching distance. None as special as spooning in a queen bed at a log cabin enveloped by the gentle hum and soothing breeze of oscillating fans, moths fluttering in the semi darkness, a little puppy heart beating in rhythm against a squished arm, breathing in the dusty scent of his warm double coat and listeni...
Read more

Day 21

Started thinking this on the walk. Thought I would write it then. And make these be a collection of scribbles through the day that I publish at the end of the day. But ofcourse I didnt, so here is the recap. Every single day when Crae goes for his walk, he is so intentional. So decisive. Knows exactly which way he wants to turn or which neighborhood or street or bush or field he wants to explore that day. Ofcourse he is also constantly stopping to smell the proverbial roses and open to changing his course depending on the path that smells more interesting, so there is something to be noticed about the way his explorations are equal parts intentional and spontaneous. Dang, so many things to emulate with this child! In other news - good spirits, good energy, frankly some good deep sleep. My brain on almost 2 back to back days of decent sleep. OCDd the judgy santa markers. Cleaned the kitchen. Decided to treat myself to an afternoon movie - today's feature, Wodehouse In Exile, a remin...
Read more