Day 89

Finishing this now because tick off mode.

Last night - catch up with Ash. Sweet msgs from both her and jonny in the afterglow of their dinner. News of team shake ups, good and bad, and reminders of being loved and missed,  which I will take with a pinch of salt. Plus the happy awaited arrival of Poppy the pupsicle, and a much anticipated date to go visit them during pawternity in a month. Sweet all around. 

Chores heavy friday of cpap machines and home depot and groceries etc. A $75 brunch pit stop first, as a result of which plus chilly day, no gardening done. Again! But dog walk and R100 done, so yay.

Somehow dealing with this deep unshakeable exhaustion and blahness. Bone deep. Not shifting, despite the tv binges, the do nothing days, the do little happy things, the eating out, with boy, without boy, on periods, after periods, good sleep, bad sleep. No matter what I do, im exhausted, snappy, angry, irritable, and majorly blah. Plus tummy issues persist and horror of horrors, im losing my appetite. Been a solid 6 days of 1 meal a day, and feeling heavy and unsatisfied and uninterested in any other food. 

Now heading to a night of supposed fri-yay with the latest craving of subway, except the craving is currently dead. Either way. Will pig on, and hope for something to awaken internally.

Boy and his new cpap move back in tonight. Not sure how I feel about that yet. Tbc. 

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