Day 32

For today!

3 gentle promises to myself
- break the silence yourself, earlier 
- no more stresses except the 5m insurance
- reset starting march

5 things I want to nurture
- collective us
- girls friendships
- positive cup filling with friends
- lol nights
- goldfish blooms

3 things that feel new
- openness and clarity in articulating
- ability to read again, slowly
- ability to laugh again, genuinely

4 daily anchors
- crae
- snow
- walks
- boy

3 things I want to learn
- piano, uke
- 3m
- AI

5 ways im beginning again
- acceptance
- stabilization 
- nightly gratitude 
- R100 
- focusing on me only

Phew. Relieved. Big shift in the last 24 hrs. Stormed into the guest room at 1.30 am last night and had it out. End of latest cold war, and not a moment too soon. Talked till 5 am, then read etc till 6.30 am, then contemplated getting down for sunrise and brekkie but decided to wallow for a few. Then phone calls, then post phone call ranting - bared my soul, made some peace, decided what matters (me!), and onwards. Then expectedly lovely but unexpectedly lovelier than expected mentally unstable girls coffee date, turned into ormond hang out, turned into Limerick drop in. Felt the love, support, good vibes of genuinely kind and generous people and close friends. Blessed and grateful. Came back weirdly refreshed post long socialising session, and ended in a pile of laughing through tears rolling on the couch uncontrollably moments with boy and WILTY, definitely latest favoritest show! Good good day. 

Onto a turn the page monday! And hopefully some sleep tonight. 

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