Day 16

Acceptance.
That's the stage I clocked today, in Brad's words.
Acceptance that irrespective of how we got here and why, this is the reality. And Acceptance that that's okay. And my body and brain have done me the kindness to take care of me all these years, and now I can take care of them back. And my focus need only be me. Not the world, not work, not friends, not acquaintances and certainly not strangers. Acceptance and speaking my truth.

At the same time - what got me here? Thrive to survive? And how do we make sure it doesnt happen again? TBC. But so grateful for the faith restoring therapist and therapy. How far we've come from being lectured on the story of the Princess and the pea by the old white man. Reaffirms all my trust in the universe. 

In excellent news - grateful for 13k steps today. And for shoveling. And for grocery shopping. And for the start of the movie watching spree. 3 down - Sense & Sensibility, Dead Poets Society and The Thomas Crowne Affair. Opening myself up again to the beauty and wisdom and art and poetry in the world feels like so much progress.

Riding the wave and hoping it doesnt crash at the judgy TT gathering tomorrow!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Day 171

Early start. Walk, lake, kayak, sunshine after ages. The kindness of weather gods and people who cater to those that need it with pancakes, burgers, potatoes, popsicles and spicy margs. No one over heated, no one got bitten to bits, although two of us got overstimulated, one with fomo, the other with exhaustion. I will remember it for so many cuddles and so many moments of precious love and belonging. When we dropped the leashes and went inside the cottage and closed the door and still he stood his ground and watched and whined, certain in his assessment that he knew he held the cards. When he got off beds and set aside cooling mats and comfort to sit by our side and be within scratching distance. None as special as spooning in a queen bed at a log cabin enveloped by the gentle hum and soothing breeze of oscillating fans, moths fluttering in the semi darkness, a little puppy heart beating in rhythm against a squished arm, breathing in the dusty scent of his warm double coat and listeni...
Read more

Day 21

Started thinking this on the walk. Thought I would write it then. And make these be a collection of scribbles through the day that I publish at the end of the day. But ofcourse I didnt, so here is the recap. Every single day when Crae goes for his walk, he is so intentional. So decisive. Knows exactly which way he wants to turn or which neighborhood or street or bush or field he wants to explore that day. Ofcourse he is also constantly stopping to smell the proverbial roses and open to changing his course depending on the path that smells more interesting, so there is something to be noticed about the way his explorations are equal parts intentional and spontaneous. Dang, so many things to emulate with this child! In other news - good spirits, good energy, frankly some good deep sleep. My brain on almost 2 back to back days of decent sleep. OCDd the judgy santa markers. Cleaned the kitchen. Decided to treat myself to an afternoon movie - today's feature, Wodehouse In Exile, a remin...
Read more