Day 11

Stayed up till the wee hours and finished the book.
Woke up to a world of emotions.
Petty little things and great big things and all the worlds details.
Black and red outfits and in laws and lies and disloyalty and son duties and new unworn shoes and sneaky stolen chocolates and funded education in Belgium and all the pain that won't matter on the last day.
Boy being wise Buddha, but so comforting, so supportive, so in the present.
How can you make yourself the only goal? The only question to answer. 
The addressing has to happen inside. Vipassana, not conversations with people to educate or change or understand. 
Its Cray Craes world and we're just living in it - smacked in the face for making that annoying sobbing noise over nothing when I should be morning petting him instead.
Walk. Because it was owed. And a 7 day streak.
Kiko - what a good walk and poop get the assignment boy.
Shower.
Pain all over. Hand, wrist, arm, legs, feet, back. Periods underway.
Cereal.
Eggs.
Cake.
30 min naps.
Pizza.
Potato.
Contempt interrupted. Signs of sideways grief noticed.
This is the season im in. My spring will come.

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