Day 5

Bad night. Possibly one of the worst. Peak anxiety, pounding heart all through my body. Hot helpless tears. Inability to close eyes without nightmares. 

Edgy day. Sprang out of bed with the urgency of a pressure cooker that must blow. Shoveled, dripping sweat, walked, aching calves, grabbed laptop and kicked off mission money mastery with no second thoughts. Rambled in amped up high pitched breathless sentences to explain myself to boy when he found me scrutizing credit card statements from months past 3 hours later. Got as far as possible until saturday. Expended enough nervous energy to exhale. Ate lots of desserts, lots of pizza. Terrified of coming to bed again. Anything but nighttime. What to do with these long endless nights. What to do.

Tomorrow - walk. Maybe more? Groceries. READ, pls. KNIT. 

5 down. 360 to go! 

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